I wouldn’t say that I am experienced. I wouldn’t boast that I have it all together. If I’ve learned anything right, it’s only from doing so many things wrong. Think of yourself 3 years ago. What is the image of the person that comes to your mind? For me, it’s of someone who is sincere in hunger for the Lord and has a desire to have a deep relationship with his wife; join that with a man who seems a little skiddish, maybe naive, and defintely full of ideals that had not yet been tested by time or experience. Three years from now, looking back, I wonder what my thoughts will be of this time now, as I write this.
Relationship with my wife ove the last 3 years of our marriage has been something of what I’d call a nonexchangeable revelation. To go from self sufficient, self reliant, and self absorbed, to poor, dependent, and still self absorbed (haha) has been quite a shock to my 23 year old experience. Entering marriage is like a frozen heart encountering a sudden flame. The heart feels excited by the warmth, but then begins to realize that it cannot turn off (or down) the burner.
As I introspectively analyzed our relationship last night while brushing my teeth, I was determined to find the most important thing in relationship. I thought about love. Some might say love. But I’ve found that love is different than our society has portrayed. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love chooses meekness. Love is not found in sitcoms. After enjoying the refreshment that came from my Crest toothpaste jazzed with Scope, I came to the conclusion that the most important thing in any relationship is communication. Without communication I do not know my wife and she does not know me. Not just communication on deep heart issues (because mine can be few and far between); communication in all things.
Suddenly my scope (not my toothpaste, my internal view) widened, or maybe focused, on my life in the Lord. He is the Bridegroom and we are the Bride. Therefore, the most important aspect to building and maintaining our relationship with Him is communication. Unbroken, daily, hourly communication. They call this communion in the mystical circles. But it is not mystical at all, nor impractical. In fact, it is necessary for relational strengthening and depth. Communion with the Lord can be thought of as communication with the Lord. Talking…it’s called prayer. Prayer is the most important thing in our relationship with the Lord. There is nothing that can replicate it or replace it. I cannot simply serve my wife instead of talking to her. I cannot simply mow the law instead of telling her I love her. There is nothing that grows a relationship like communication, and there is nothing that can destroy one like silence.